You're so nebulous sometimes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
