she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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