But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
