they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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