Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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