get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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