idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
