Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
