pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
