if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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