Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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