She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
