YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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