I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it glows. i had to have it.
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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