I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
