just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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