I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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