Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
