hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I checked into jail on foursquare
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This baby is an asshole
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
