I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just found puke in my bra..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
