I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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