Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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