i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
