I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
