is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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