oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
