Cold hands, warm shart.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Randomize
