How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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