i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
