garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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