piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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