What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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