if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
