i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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