I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
