Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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