idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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