Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
