There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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