my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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