I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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