At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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