You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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