you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
