hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
