one two three fourrrrnication!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
