I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
