Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
