i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
