You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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