you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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