it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
