Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Panties = found
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
