dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
