u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize