she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
