If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
