Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
